March. What a nothing kind of month, my least favourite of the year. The first month of spring, or so it say’s on the calendar. But for us unfortunates who live in the UK, we use our calendars just for circling off days and not for any indication of weather. January, February, March, June, all the same, rain. Ash Wednesday, International woman’s day, Mother’s Day, Saint Patrick’s Day; yes, yes, yes, yes, but also the Ides of March, World Maths day (I’ve always been crap at maths) Pi Day? I ask you? How can you get excited about a month in which people celebrate the mathematical constant ∏ (pi). No, I’m going to have to do something personally to brighten up this middling month. New job? New car? New house? New Life? What better time to start but in this month of March.
I’ll take it back to the Romans, to a time when March was actually the beginning of the year. March the start, a time to look forward to something, A month named from the God of War Martius; apt, I’m declaring war on Mediocre, Average and Make-do, a good old-fashioned clear-out. Though the words “spring” and “clean” together have always been an assault on my ears, (spring is fine and clean is very nice but together? No) this year I’m embracing them, why? Because the object I’m tackling is me, not with a dust cloth and some Mr Sheen but with positive actions and energetic thinking, actually, not just “thinking” but doing. I have found it very easy lately to just live in a state of complacency; so what, I’ve put on a few pounds? I’m not going to be dictated to by mainstream media that says I should be a size 6. So what that I’m in a job that I hate, that has managed to stifle any and every creative impulse I’ve ever laid claim to? I’m earning great money. So what that the relationships that I have around me no longer work and at times feel radioactive? It’s better that being alone; so what, so what, so what? So unhappy. If there comes a time when you can no longer meet the eyes of the person that looks back at you in the mirror, if that image no longer looks like or feels like you, then it’s time for a Spring Clean.
I tackled each of my issues individually, the easiest was taking care of my physical self, a diet of lean protein, good carbohydrates and little or no alcohol combined with aerobic exercise 4 times a week takes care of the extra unwanted, unneeded pounds. It feels good to be out in the fresh air, it really does blow away cobwebs, as they say, and gives you space to think.
The work really starts when it comes to my inner self, how to make my soul happy? And in that I’ve been lucky, I’ve had the good fortune of recently coming across some really good spiritual (and by this I don’t mean religious) teachings. And what I’ve learnt is that fear and worry is self fulfilling, and distracting. The more you fear the more fear you will feel, and that worry “is like paying interest on money you haven’t borrowed”. Playing over and over in your mind consequences of things that haven’t happened is a crazy waste of time. The thing for me is to feel the fear and to do it anyway, drudge on because of the fear, to use it to propel me into taking steps that my previous complacency would never have done. I had to accept certain situations for what they were, that that job, which I have now left, made me stronger and more aware of what is and isn’t important, i.e. that making money isn’t as important as job satisfaction (those who feels it knows it) 18 months ago I couldn’t have, wholehearted, agreed that point.
I knew that a rotten relationship would not magically become wholesome overnight, refrigerating it wasn’t going to work; once the rot sets in, the only way to move forward was to either cut it out or dispose of the relationship as a whole. On investigation the rot had worked it way right the way through to the core so….But, if I had remained fearful of what I’d find, I’d have never taken that closer look….And I’m OK, not great, granted, it’s not easy, but I find it helps to just try and concentrate on remembering the good times, think only of the positives. Not for a second do I allow myself to dwell on recent nastiness…Oh, well, OK let’s be honest, maybe the odd second here and there, but not much! And in time I know I will be better than I was. I’m learning my lessons well. “Accept what is, harvest the good and forgive the rest.” And so what if I’m now a size 6?
